Out of the blue, my marketing business friend Laney invited me to lunch. As soon as we sat down, she whispered loudly, “Ok lady, I need that damn voodoo doll!” Heads turned.

“I’ve been single for 10 years, my boys are grown, and I’m tired of being single!”

“You heard about my voodoo doll?” I was surprised she knew about my doll since I’d only shared her with one other person.

“I’ve got my resources – someone at Bloopers told me,” she admitted. Bloopers is the local bar/restaurant where my friends and I meet Wednesdays for happy hour.  I guessed correctly that my best friend Alicia told her. She’s the first and only person I’d given the doll to at that time.

“Before you get Miss Voodoo, you need to write your True Love List of everything you….,”  She held her hand up to stop me.

Her list was like an old condom

“I have it right here.” She pulled a paper folded into a small square from her wallet. It was worn and stained on the edges like an old condom a guy carries in his wallet. “I’ve been carrying it around for years,” she said carefully unfolding the list.

But when I reached for it, she snatched it away.  She didn’t want to share – said it was too personal. I respect that – my list has a lot of personal (sex) stuff on it too. (sex is a whole ‘nother article!)  Looking back now, I could have saved her a lot of heartbreak if she had shared her list with me.

It was just lunch and then…

The next Wednesday, Laney, Alicia, and I met at Bloopers. We went out to my car where Alicia and I ceremoniously presented the voodoo doll to her. On Friday, she called in a panic.  “Danny Sparro asked me to lunch!”  He’s the Public Information Officer at the city’s fire department which Laney’s marketing company works with occasionally.

“That’s nice. Where’re you going?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I told him I’d call him back. Do you think this is a date?”

“I guess it could be. What’s wrong with that?”

“I haven’t been on a date in so long. I don’t how to act or what to say or…”

“Hey – it’s OK. Stop overthinking. Just go and be yourself. He’s not asking you for sex or to marry him – it’s just lunch. OK?”

“OK, you’re right. I like Danny. I’ve worked with him for years – he’s so funny and he just got divorced.”  Uh-oh.

Three months later…

Laney and Danny got married at the Courthouse. I was invited to their backyard cookout reception at Danny’s house where I met his three boys ages 5, 7, and 9. They were totally out of control – running in and out of the house, screaming, fighting, whining, and crying. Danny needed help. Laney did the best she could to reign them in but they paid no attention to either of them.

Even more disturbing,  instead of spending the day celebrating his marriage to Laney, Danny yakked on and on about his crazy ex-wife and the horrible things she was doing to trash his life and ruin his children. It was obvious he wasn’t “over” his ex yet. It was also obvious that the children were reacting to the upheaval in their lives. I felt sorry for my friend.

For a full year, Laney tried to fix their lives – hers and Danny’s, and the kids but realized she was in a hopeless situation and got divorced.

What went wrong?

“My list had kids on it. I should have taken them off. I had my kids – I don’t want more,” she told me and Alicia. Looking at Laney’s list it was apparent that she had changed, her life situation had changed, and her list was outdated.  It was written soon after her divorce when she would have liked to have more children (a girl) with the right man. “It’s like reading my diary when I was 13-years old,” Laney laughed.

Review and refresh

If you have already written your True Love list, please review it, refresh it occasionally. As your life and your desires change, so should your list.  Remember, you are loved!

P.S. – Questions? Ideas? You’re welcome to contact me at mytruelovelist@gmail.com.